Be Strong

Believe while others are Doubting
Plan while others are Playing
Study while others are Sleeping
Decide while others Doubting
Prepare while others are Daydreaming
Begin while others are Procrastinating
Work while others are Wishing
Save while others are Wasting
Listen while others are Talking
Smile while others are Pouting
Commend while others are Criticizing
Persist while others are Quitting

Burning acid tears

Hoje eu vi o quanto sou inútil.
Todas aquelas coisas que não me importavam durante aquele período
me fazem chorar agora...
e eu não quero mais isso.

Estou chorando pelos meus sonhos que estão cada vez mais distantes,
e por saudade dela.
Saudade das nossas conversas... dos sonhos que eu projetei.
Inocência... - tudo despedaçado.

MENTIRAS!!!

E por saber que o meu amor era o mais puro, mas inexperiente,
eu não soube o que dizer, não soube o que fazer.

E por saber que as coisas são assim, e que essa dor é necessária.
Não era para ser assim, nunca seria.
Eu tive alguns problemas quanto a te deixar ir,
porque nada doeu tanto quanto isso.
Mas não é assim, você não é igual a mim e nunca entenderia.
...
E pelo medo que esse sonho, essa esperança seja somente ilusão.

E eu ainda nem saí do lugar...

it doesn't matter about me

Mudança de endereço...
naquele eu não estava demonstrando tudo o que preciso
(isso quado eu consigo demonstrar algo)
...
Mais longe dos meus sonhos,
o que eu mais amo está tão longe que em a cada mínimo acontecimento
que a traz para minha mente eu volto para a realidade e choro.
...

...
you're so strong.

everybody's laughing

Even Spirits mock me...

fucking pathetic!!!

Nightfall

We will never walk again
As we used to walk at night,
Watching our shadows lengthen
Under the gold street-light
When the snow was new and white.

We will never walk again
Slowly, we two,
In spring when the park is sweet
With midnight and with dew,
And the passers-by are few.

I sit and think of it all,
And the blue June twilight dies, --
Down in the clanging square
A street-piano cries
And stars come out in the skies.

Sara Teasdale

Depression

Wind touches my face blowing slowly it's coldness
My soul has frozen in a solitude blink
making my being decline
Hiding my fears into my world
I can percieve this dark corner
these recoil's chains choke my desire
thoughts in fight,
Illusions drawn in ice
Visions of pain, feelings of fault
depression comes, penetrates my heart
I can see a black horizon
it comes to me with all it's rage
(and I want to be free now)
But I don't give up
Frustrating sights, bad experiences
all over me, what desolation brings
Memories hurt, deception overflowing the sense
illusions fall, wishes go
...
I'm blind with the pain forces left behind
maybe it's the time to forget myself.

about one of the reasons =~~

I still remeber your voice,
even when you never spoke to me again.
I waited for you,
but always knew it would be in vain.

Now, tell me why you're on my mind today.

It's been years, you know...
and in my life, to talk about years,
is a miracle.
...

The little girl

The little girl is lost
Lost among the trees
She's buried there
Below the fallen leaves
All she wants to do is play
But you tell her she must stay...
Hidden and concealed.

The little girl is lost
Lost among the breeze
She's whispering to you
All you've ever dreamed
All she wants to do is try
To make you feel more alive
But you tell her she must stay...
Broken and empty.

The little girl is lost
Lost among the times
Tucked behind the years
You tried to leave behind
All she wants to do is cry
But you tell her she must stay...
Smiling and controlled.

...
The little girl inside is dead!

A Letter To God

Is this life this degradation
this pointless game, humiliation
Born to die, we're born to lose
and not one choice we make we choose
And when this life is at an end
we find that Death's our only friend
Must we suffer through your games, oh Lord?
Can God really be so bored?

We waste our lives destroying, hating,
while beneath our flesh a skull lies waiting
Blind to beauty blind to love,
we fear of our loving Lord above
Some live their lives to play their games,
some live as victims, the insane
Your experiment oh Lord has failed
and I trust that when we meet you will forgive us

It's futile so I'll end this note
and find a knife and slit my throat
and come to track you down oh Lord
you better watch your back,
be sure that when we meet you'll be surprised
no loving praise, no glee filled cries
Just pain and hate and tear filled sighs
and the question in the end is "Why?"

Phantoms

I fell in love with someone who has no name.
Doesn't really matter though cause inside we're both the same.
Two nobodys walking hand and hand through life.
Unnoticed by anyone as were both cut by the knife.
In each other we find what both seeks.
We walk on silently while neither speaks.
Both tired of living, we are shadows in these worlds.
Watching quietly as God's wrath unfurls.
At night we sing our pain into song.
Unearthly melodies echo all night long.
With the sun's rise our pain is shed.
And we return to the earth to sleep the sleep of dead.
Visions of genocide haunt the sleeping hours.
Meanwhile the monsters within us eats and devours.
Driven through life by reasons unknown,
We are hurled into destiny by a great cyclone.
So without any real choice left to us,
Onward we travel, phantoms in the darkness.

Vaidade

Sonho que sou a Poetisa eleita,
Aquela que diz tudo e tudo sabe,
Que tem a inspiração pura e perfeita,
Que reúne num verso a imensidade!

Sonho que um verso meu tem claridade
Para encher o mundo! E que deleita
Mesmo aqueles que morrem de saudade!
Mesmo os de alma profunda e insatisfeita!

Sonho que sou Alguém cá neste mundo...
Aquela de saber vasto e profundo,
Aos pés de quem a Terra anda curvada!

E quando mais no céu eu vou sonhando,
E quando mais no alto ando voando,
Acordo do meu sonho... E não sou nada!...

(Florbela Espanca)

I wonder if I'm dead.

Isso é tudo o que posso aguentar sem me levantar.
Mais nada...
A entrega termina aqui.

Cada novo dia eu continuarei a renascer,
tentando fazer o meu melhor,
e me segurar,
nem que seja por somente 5 minutos a mais.

O único modo de escapar,
é passar por entre os escombros.
...
Somente o meu corpo continua preso;
o meu espírito já está livre.

everything's a sign

I have been silent so long
Under tightly knitted skin
Waiting to begin here
Waiting to begin
I have been bleeding so long
In this ancient second skin
Trying to begin here
Trying to begin
Everything's a warning
Everything's a sign
I could've shed this long before
and taken what was mine
(and taken back all that was mine)
The messangers have told me
Begun to leave their marks
Scrawled across my skin now
Burned into my heart
Now I've been silent too long
The scar's already formed
Sealed in second skin now
Locked behind my door
Everything's a warning
Everything's a sign
I could've shed this long before
and taken what was mine
(and taken back all that was mine)...

the long way around

Today I'm gonna start turning it around.

I'll never miss you again...
- not a thing.

Enivrez-Vous

Il faut être toujours ivre.
Tout est là:
c'est l'unique question.
Pour ne pas sentir
l'horrible fardeau du Temps
qui brise vos épaules
et vous penche vers la terre,
il faut vous enivrer sans trêve.
Mais de quoi?
De vin, de poésie, ou de vertu, à votre guise.
Mais enivrez-vous.
Et si quelquefois,
sur les marches d'un palais,
sur l'herbe verte d'un fossé,
dans la solitude morne de votre chambre,
vous vous réveillez,
l'ivresse déjà diminuée ou disparue,
demandez au vent,
à la vague,
à l'étoile,
à l'oiseau,
à l'horloge,
à tout ce qui fuit,
à tout ce qui gémit,
à tout ce qui roule,
à tout ce qui chante,
à tout ce qui parle,
demandez quelle heure il est;
et le vent,
la vague,
l'étoile,
l'oiseau,
l'horloge,
vous répondront:
"Il est l'heure de s'enivrer!
Pour n'être pas les esclaves martyrisés du Temps,
enivrez-vous;
enivrez-vous sans cesse!
De vin, de poésie ou de vertu, à votre guise."

(Charles Baudelaire)

on the same place

- "She is a changed person
or at least she thought she was.
We all thought she was.
What has happened to her?
Has she fallen so far,
that she cannot get back?"

- It doesn't matter which path I take,
it always seems to end up on the same place.
Everytime I try to reach the visions in my head,
I sabotage myself.

WAKE UP!

If life was nothing but a joke,
Could laughter mend the broken hearts?
Could smiles heal their shattered parts?
If life was nothing but a joke...

If life was nothing but a game,
Could screaming fans erase the pain?
Could they wash away the bloody stains?
If life was nothing but a game...

If life was nothing but a test,
Could you answer all the questions right?
Or would you cry to sleep each night?
If life was nothing but a test...

If life was nothing but just one choice,
Would you choose sorrow, pain, or love?
You can't choose 'all of the above'
If life is nothing but just one choice...

But what if life was nothing but a dream?
Would you take that life by waking up?
WAKE UP!

walks away

"- I can't do this for a while."
- I've never been able to at all.

...

Serais ce possible alors?

On me dit que nos vies ne valent pas grand chose,
Elles passent en un instant comme fanent les roses.
On me dit que le temps qui glisse est un salaud
Que de nos chagrins il s'en fait des manteaux
Pourtant quelqu'un m'a dit...

On me dit que le destin se moque bien de nous
Qu'il ne nous donne rien et qu'il nous promet tout
Parait qu'le bonheur est à portée de main,
Alors on tend la main et on se retrouve fou
Pourtant quelqu'un m'a dit...

Compensation

I should be glad of loneliness
And hours that go on broken wings,
A thirsty body, a tired heart
And the unchanging ache of things,
If I could make a single song
As lovely and as full of light,
As hushed and brief as a falling star
On a winter night.

Sara Teasdale

Everybody's Fool

Says: "I'm nobody's fool"
As she waits for the phone to ring
Cries hard while the call doesn't come
Even harder when it does...

I look out the window
Staring at the moon
Wondering how I ever got here,
And will it be over soon?

Dying quietly.

Os dias passam, um pior que o outro...
Até que as coisas saem do meu controle,
e eventualmente o meu disfarce já não adianta.

A vida que não vivi,
e a morte silenciando o meu choro.
Procurando por machucados,
ou mais uma desculpa para desistir de tentar.

Rebirth

Monumental frights from deep inside,
after the rebirth.
The conquest of the small world around you,
it's very close now...